new poem

I wrote a new poem this morning. I was thinking about writing it all day yesterday. It's about a friend of mine who passed away back in 2003. She died in a terrible car accident as an exchange student in Australia.

A few months before she left she came to church with me and at the end of service we prayed together and she accepted Christ into her heart. She was totally changed after that.

Then just weeks before she went to Australia she let me borrow a sweater when we went to the beach. I wore it home and forgot to give it back to her and I've had it ever since....

People do weird things when they lose somebody they love. I had this sweater of hers and I felt like if I were to get rid of it, it would mean that I don't care anymore or that I don't miss her anymore or that I'm just totally over it. I had this attachment to it because it was all I had left of her.

I've looked at it time and time again thinking I was ready to get rid of it, but I wasn't so I would continue to let it hang in my closet until the next time I came across it. Well, about a week ago I decided that I had to let go of it. It's something that I needed to do. I didn't realize it, but by holding onto it and keeping it, it has really prevented me from totally being at peace with her being gone.

So... I took out of the closet and off the hanger. After holding it and remembering for a moment I folded it neatly and placed it in a box of things to get rid of. It was actually a lot harder than it sounds. Since she died away from home every now and then I would think she was still coming back. So by letting go of this sweater it meant I was really truly letting go of her....

Maybe this is lame or weird, but like I said people do lame and weird things when they are hurt. Anyways, here is the poem. I've name it Bright Yellow Sweater. I hope you like it.

please, don't go now
i still have your sweater
the one you said would keep me warm
but i'm so cold now
i still have your sweater
are you really gone?

what will i do
with a bright yellow sweater?
maybe i'll keep it for awhile....
but it's been years now and
i still have your sweater
no, i have not worn it again

all i have left of you is
your bright yellow sweater
only a sweet smelling sweater
to hide my pain

maybe today i will
let got of that sweater,
but today
i just can't let go of you

over the years now
my memory fades now
would i even know your face?
i still have your sweater,
that bright yellow sweater
it's all i have to remember you...

but i'm letting go now
i have to grow now
i have to heal somehow

i'll say goodbye to your bright yellow sweater
i'll say goodbye to my pain
will i still have you without that sweater?
this is the only way...

i'll let you go now...
no, i'm not cold now...
i don't have your sweater
bright yellow sweater
goodbye sweater

goodbye friend...