Thursday, December 18, 2008

my christmas story

Christmas is just days away.

I always count down the days until Christmas, but not for the same reasons as those who love counting down because it means they get to take one more piece of candy from the calendar or because I'm so excited about it I need to know exactly how many days are left. I count down because I'm so over it. By the time Christmas actually gets here I wish there were no Christmas at all.

It has been said by many people that I am The Grinch. It used to bother me that I would be labeled this. My response would be, "Just because I'm not drooling over everything red and green and singing Christmas carols at the top of my lungs, and because I don't love snow, and I hate Santa Clause does NOT mean that I am The Grinch. I don't try to take Christmas away from anyone and haven't stopped anyone or told anyone that they can't have Christmas, so just leave me alone and mind your own business okay?!" Yes, these words I have spoken many times. I think what made me upset the most was that I knew they were right. I am a grinch. I do steal Christmas from everyone around me. I take their joy and chew up with my bitterness towards this stupid holiday and I spit it right at them. I take Christmas from people who truly love it.

Sadly, I had not made this discovery in its entirety until just recently and this can explain my lack of blogging. I have been thinking about so much lately and haven't been really sure how to interpret my thoughts.

Since I've started going through Celebrate Recovery I have really learned how to examine situations and examine my heart to learn what is really bothering me. I can tell you that it's never on the surface. It's always that little splinter buried deep in my heart that over time has turned into something huge because rather than letting God take it from me, I have decided that "this one's mine" and I can take care of it myself. Except, I can never take care of anything myself... and nothing is ever "mine"...

With that said, I've really been spending a lot time exploring my heart and my emotions and truly identifying the real reason I hate Christmas. I feel like it sounds so stupid but I'm going to tell you anyway because who cares about stupidity?

Growing up, my parents always, always, always made sure we had the best Christmas mornings we could possibly have. I didn't know it at the time because I was so young, but this was so challenging for them. It's not easy when there are five children who are so excited about what they might get. Somehow, they always got it right. We were always so happy and thankful. Looking back now I feel an enormous amount of guilt because my parents were constantly giving up so much of what they needed to make sure we were happy. Maybe guilt is not the right word... I think gratitude is more appropriate.

Something else that was so huge in our family during Christmas was the big guy himself, Santa. I hate Santa now, but when I was younger I was always in such awe on Christmas morning. How did he just know I wanted all of these great things? And how did he manage to fit inside our chimney with out being burned? I was always full of so many questions and my parents always had the right answer. Santa was so magical.

Most children, girls especially, love all things magical. We love to believe that somehow we are a secret princess hiding out away from evil and one day that prince of ours will snatch us up and keep us safe. Anything pretend is always so real. We love to play dress up, spin in dresses, and use our imagination to travel the world.

I was a very imaginative little girl who loved to believe in the extraordinary. One day I would be a beautiful ballerina dancing my way to fame, the next I was a pirate trying to defend my ship and my honor, and some days I was just me. I would spend the whole day trying to plan my next adventure. I always believed it would be real someday. So, naturally Santa Clause just fell into place. He was magic. And I always loved a good mystery.

That was until I learned he wasn't real..... This really sounds so stupid, but I cried so much. Not because I was really all that sad, but because I was really angry. I hated my parents that day, but most of all I hated myself for believing in something so stupid. I was nine and so embarrassed that I let myself get caught up in something so pretend. I cried more when I realized that not only was Santa a fake, but so was The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny. Everything that was magical and wonderful was suddenly taken away from me.... My childhood was taken away from me....

After that, Christmas wasn't the same. There was no magic anymore. I started to dislike Christmas when I was only nine years old. And since I hated Christmas when I was nine, why should I like it when I was ten? Or eleven? And now, twenty two?

Don't get me wrong, I love to buy and give gifts to others, but I just don't think Christmas is very fun. Over the years I've developed a million reasons why I don't like this holiday. I think the shopping hype is ridiculous, I hate the stress that goes along with it, figuring out whose family to spend time with first and deciding if I'm being spread equally is always a challenge, and these are only a few. But all of these things are so frustrating to me. I struggle every year, and if it were up to me I'd spend Christmas alone.

In many ways, I am alone on Christmas. I am not attached to tradition, I don't show a lot of emotion, so it's always hard for me to have love this day like everyone else around me. I don't always try to be so distant; often it just happens because I was distant in the first place, but then there are times that I know I'm far away and generally I stay there, but I'm not sure why...

This Christmas season has been especially challenging for me. This is my last Christmas at home and unfortunately I feel I still might be the same bitter girl I was last year. I've been trying hard not to be so angry and hate everything but it truly is all I know.

God has been really speaking to me these past weeks, and I have felt so strongly that He has been begging me to allow Him to change my ways so I decided that maybe I should try doing something "Christmas-y." I rummaged through my bin of craft supplies and found some things I liked. I decided to make matching ornaments for myself and my family. I don't really like them; they're cute and everything, but they're just ornaments. I did, however, enjoy making them. I felt nice to just sit alone and reflect on my emotions about this holiday.

I've come to the conclusion that it's okay if I don't love this time of year, but I shouldn't be so greedy to take it away from those who truly love it. I feel that, even though it may not be obvious, I have grown a lot during this Christmas season and I know that there is so much more room for continual growth.

I've also decided I want to let go of all of this pain and bitterness that I have been carrying all these years and I want to let God move through my heart and heal my hurt. I've decided that this one in not mine anymore; I'd like to give it to God and that, my friends, will be the gift I give myself.

Monday, December 15, 2008

where in the world is carmen san diego?

Hi....

It's been so long since I have done any kind of blogging and now that I'm here I still don't feel up to it. It's weird. I've just felt really tired these days and I feel like I can't think and when I do, I think of everything so... I'm avoiding my brain right now!

Anyway, I'm still here amongst the living. Maybe when my brain thaws I will get back here and tell you all about my exciting (or not so) adventures!

I do have a piece of great news! My Best Friend will be home in just two days! This is very exciting to me. My heart has really missed her heart the past few months. It will be really great to spend some time with her!

Okay, Bye!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

maurices sidekick

So... today I hated my tank top. It just wasn't the one that I really wanted. I was getting ready in a hurry and somehow grabbed one that I'm not friends with. We don't even get along. I didn't even realize it until I got to work and when I looked in the mirror I literally said, "Ugh, I don't like you!" My co- workers thought I was saying it to myself so I had some explaining to do.

Normally when I don't like my clothes I just deal with it and move on with my day, but there are some days when I have to do something about it! Today was one of those days. I decided that I was going to run down to Maurices really quick and find a different shirt. I knew which one I wanted and it worked out perfectly that they were buy one get one half off! So, I bought a green one and a teal one. These will be good friends of mine. : )

While I was there the girl working asked my opinion on a shirt for this lady that was trying to find something to wear to a really fancy party tonight. She said, "Hey, Brittany what do you think of this? She's going to a party tonight and everyone going is a millionaire!" I laughed and said, "I like it! We can totally make you look rich!"

While I was paying she was trying on her shirt and decided that she didn't like it. I saw a really cute one hanging on the back wall and for some reason I felt like it was my responsibility to help this lady look hot! So, I just helped myself to getting it down and said, "Hey what about this one? It will look really good on you!" It was a silky wrap top with a sparkly band around the waste." She said she liked but wasn't sure if it would look okay on her and was concerned that it was cut too low. So, I said, "If you want I can find a cute tank top to go underneath. It will add color and keep you covered. It looks really good to layer!" I found a pretty blue lacy tank and gave it to her to try on. All the while, the girl working was saying,"Brittany you're so nice!" I wasn't looking for praise; I was just having fun. Then the lady said,"OH! Are you helping me on your day off? Or are you just on break?!" I laughed, "I don't even work here!" She laughed at me and was full of thank yous.

She tried the two tops on and looked great, but was still a little unsure. By this time I had to go back to work. I laughed at myself on the way. It is so like me to do something like that! I later learned that she bought both tops and found some great accessories to go along with it! I'm sure she was looking like a million bucks!

Friday, December 5, 2008

snack-o-rama!

The other day Jolene (my co-worker) and I really wanted some chips but we just couldn't decide so this is what happened:

Don't worry! We shared with other people. It was a fun snack, but everyone was laughing at us! That's okay because it was yummy! : )

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

scattered brain

Well, hello everyone! (All three of you who read this.) Long time, no type! I feel like I've been a little busy bee these days and I have fifty things I want to talk about! Hopefully I will get to them all. (This may take awhile.) If I don't it will just give me another reason to get on here and chat.

Speaking of... I always do this. I say to myself, it's okay if I don't get to everything! I'll just come back later and talk about it then. Except I think I'm just kidding about that because I never really do. By the time I come back I have another seventy thoughts racing through my head. You see, I sort of have an attention problem and have this love-hate thing with my brain!

Moving on! I suppose I should share my topics in chronological order and the only reason I remember what came first is because I have pictures! Lol.

Well, Thanksgiving was fun! I spent the day with Benjamin and my future in laws! For dinner it was just the two of us, his parentals, his grandma, and Tyler. The rest of the clan came over a little later. The food was great and I was very proud of myself for trying everything! I love to get stuck in a routine where I only eat the same foods, but not this day! Sherri did a great job making some yummy salads, but the potatoes were my favorite! (P.s. I love mashed potatoes. Sometimes when no one is listening I call them smashed potatoes. I think it sounds more fun!)

After we ate James and I went over to Kyle and Rhianna's to watch the last half of the football game with them. That was fun and Mayah was being a cutie like always! You can check out Rhianna's blog for some good pictures!

When all of the kids got back to house we enjoyed some good pie and played a fun game! Has anyone ever heard of Hoopla? It's a cranium game and it really is so much fun! I suggest buying it if you ever come across it. I found it at Barnes and Noble, but I'm sure you can get it online.

That about sums up my first Thanksgiving! The next day we enjoyed another feast at my house. Ben and I both had to work so it wasn't quite as relaxing as the day before, but the food was great! He actually didn't get off work until after we had eaten, but he didn't mind. There was plenty left!

I came home to a house full! When I walked in I saw the cutest trail of floured footprints everywhere! Ellie was baking, and it was obvious! : ) Here she is, the little flour covered chef herself!

If you recall, the last time I showed pictures of her baking she had this super serious look on her face. She was doing it again this time while she was making a pie crust! She is so cute and I just know that she thinks she was meant to do this and it is her job to make it perfect. : ) And you know what? I think it is! ; )


Here is picture of her cherry pie before the top crust went on. Let me tell you, she was so proud of herself for making this pie, and it tasted great! I love to see the delight in her face when she knows she did well. : )


While the Baking Bonanza was going on, I'll show what everyone else was up to!

Aunt Saysa (Teresa) and Ainsley were enjoying some crackers in the living room, and here are my brothers hanging out in the computer room playing guitar hero. Paul is on the left and Randy is the one glaring at me for taking his picture!

Dinner was ready so we all enjoyed turkey, smashed potatoes, rolls, various salads, and stuffing. My mom and my sisters did the cooking, and it was yummy! : )


There were thirteen of us total and surprisingly our table just can't seat that many! Lol. So, we end up scattering through the house to enjoy our food! This year, I wanted to sit at the table with my mom, and sisters and the girls. For some reason we were missing a chair and I really didn't feel like hunting it down so I grabbed on of the chairs from the kid table. : )



Haha, it worked just fine! I had place to sit and I was closer to my food! It doesn't get any better than that! : )

After dinner on Thanksgiving there is normally not a whole lot going on. Everyone else is tired and ready for a nap, but I'm always the first to want pie! It was great by the way. My mom makes the best pumpkin pie!

I think that's all for Thanksgiving number two. Now I will move on to Thanksgiving number three......

Just kidding!

I am moving on to Sunday! I told you this may take awhile. Are you ready of another adventure? : )

On Sunday, we decided we were going to go to Olympia. We love Olympia and we find ourselves there quite often, especially now since we are planning a wedding. ; ) It seems like we always have to best conversations on the way home. I love it!

Since I was planning on blogging about our day I had to, of course, take pictures on the way there! : )


Chase and Becca were also going to Olympia that day so we decided to meet up with them at Red Robin for lunch, and it just so happened that the night before Ben got Red Robin gift card so it was perfect. : )

We had just enough on our gift card to cover our lunch and leave a small tip! I wanted to leave a little more but didn't have any small dollars so I rummaged through my wallet and found some coins to add to it! We always try to leave at least fifteen percent so I was happy when my coins were just enough!

Lunch was fun and we all were very full. It was nice to spend time with Becca and Chase! It's something we have been trying to do more often, and I like it! ; )

After lunch we headed to Costco! Where I found something lovely. : ) I have been saving up my tip dollars since summer so that by the end of the year it would equal five hundred dollars. I refer to it as my five hundred dollar fund! When I started saving I didn't know what I was saving for; I just knew that I wanted five hundred dollars to spend on something great for our house someday!

I have had my heart set on a memory foam mattress for as long as I can remember and eventually I set my heart on buying one with my five hundred dollar fund! But no more than that! Now, when I decided something there is no changing my mind so if I think that I will find a memory foam mattress for only five hundred dollars then there is nothing that can convince me to spend more!

And guess what?! Costco just happened to have a queen size memory foam mattress for none other than five hundred dollars! I know five hundred sounds like a lot, but for a memory foam mattress it's really cheap! And technically, since I used my tip dollars, my clients paid for it. : )

So, here it is! My long gone five hundred dollar fund!!


Doesn't it just look so compfy?! : ) Before we bought it I kept telling Ben, "Don't worry, it will fit in the car! It has to fit! We'll be fine!" That was until we got it outside and I realize just how small the backseat of the car was! Lol. Instead of worrying I decided to keep saying it will fit and also take pictures! : )

The picture is sort of dark, but he's just pretending to be annoyed! And even he really was annoyed I would still post the picture because it's all for the sake of my blog!


It took a couple minutes to assess the situation. All the while I'm still taking pictures and laughing and telling weary on lookers, "No worries! It will fit!"


At this point I decided that if I really wanted the darn thing to fit in the car I should probably help him! A few sore shoulders and a smashed thumb later we got it in the car, and I couldn't have been happier! You know why? Because I was responsible and saved up all my dollars and bought this all by my self!!! : ) And because the realization of getting married is starting to sink in more and more each day and I love knowing that I am going to spend the rest of my life with Ben!

I think that might be everything for now. Except I still have things to say, but my brain is scattered and my thoughts are splattered!!!

Ciao!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

lovely ladies

So.... I've decided that, even though it is really late right now and I'm super tired, I need to write a blog! I have been thinking about it/wanting to all day, but I just didn't have to opportunity until right now when it's past midnight o'clock!

Anyway, my little sister moved back home last week so we had a little sister date on Saturday. I peaced out of work early just for her! I needed to get out of there anyway! (Refer to my previous blog and you will understand why!)

We were both feeling pretty tired so we just decided to do something easy and easy to us equals Starbucks and Ross! : ) They are neighbors and we just happen to be their best friends!

I was really planning on documenting everything on camera, but I just couldn't do it! Mostly because I was laughing a lot.

So, our old car is just such a piece of... cool thing! Lol. Let me just tell you about it! It loves to overheat. I think its training for the Olympics or something because it is really good at it. Also, the passenger side door has no handle on the inside so if you'd like to get out you can sweet talk the driver or another passenger to open the door for you. I like this approach. It makes me feel special. OR You can roll the window down and reach out to open the door yourself. I also like this approach because it makes me feel like I'm doing a really cool trick! Haha. OR You can look really silly and just ride in the back seat with the driver upfront! Yes, I like this too because from the outside looking in it either makes me look like I'm riding in luxury or I'm really angry and the person driving! : ) But my ultimate favorite part about the piece of cool thing is that the door on the driver's side just can't decide if he likes to stay shut, or shut at all. He's such a kidder!

On this particular day, the driver's side door had decided he wasn't going to stay shut and had also decied to keep it a secret. We found out, of course, as we were whizing around the corner at the bottom of the bridge and the door comes flying wide open! Teresa instantly burst into laughter while I was in the back seat yelling, "Oh my gosh!!!" We pulled over. I was still freaking out, but Teresa was still laughing and said,"Do you realize what just happened? Can we please just laugh about this a little!?" So I did, and continued to do so as she drove the rest of the way to Starbucks holding the door shut with her left hand!

Like I said, I didn't get alot of pictures of this day, but here is a cute one of my sister and her Starbucks:


She actually just got a grande ice water, mostly for the ice I'm guessing. I'm pretty sure ice is her favorite food. : )

So, the reason why I didn't blog about this earlier today was because Ainsley was over for pretty much the whole day, and I don't know if I have mentioned this, but she is so attached me! I actually really love it, and I think it's so cute that she loves me so much. We have a very special bond. Since she was here I didn't really get a whole lot done because she only wants me to hold her. : )

Here are some really cute pictures of my day with her:


Here she is playing with my cell phone. Let me tell ya, this girl is going to be texting by the time she's two! Actually most of her time spent was watching the video I have of her sister dancing in Old Navy. I don't have any pictures but she was giving it kisses all day!


When it's time for food, she loves my mom! My mom is great Grammy so Ainsley really loves it when she gets to have lunch at her house. I couldn't help but take a ton of pictures while she was eating. She is getting so big and it's so fun to watch her!







After awhile using the fork just wasn't fast enough.


This one is definitely my favorite from the whole day:


She's pretty much adorable!

Okay, it's way past my bedtime! My brain is broken, but I feel like I always have so much to say! I am a Chatty Cathy!

Um, Goodnight!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

aaaah!!!

If I was a screamer, I probably would have this past week. Lo siento for the lack of posting. (I'm bilingual, you know. Kind of)

Anyway, I don't think I have any great pictures of my week. I take that back, I do, but I'm going to save them for another post.

Can I just tell you about my week? Maybe you will feel sorry for me or just laugh.

Um, where should I start? Okay, first of all.... Our paychecks got lost! Somehow UPS misplaced them so they ended up being four days late. (This is something I would expect from DHL. Haha.) Anyway, I wasn't feeling very worried because I knew they would get here soon. That was, however, until my new paycheck BOUNCED! Yes, like a rubber ball soaring through the air and crashing down only to jet away again. Like, really, how can my check bounce? Ugh! So annoying!

Of course, my check was returned after I had payed bills, tithed, bought wedding stuff etc. etc. So, suddenly I was left with negative dollars and then I managed to have an emotional/mental breakdown at work! This is sort of hilarious because I don't really cry. I think maybe twice in the past four years has anyone ever seen me teary. So, on this day, I was stressed, really mad, and overwhelmed so I just decided to start bawling (okay, I'm exagerating) at the FRONT DESK with my clients and coworkers just staring at me!! I rushed to the back room before I could make eye contact and one of the girls finally asked if I was okay. And I said, "Oh sure! I'm just bawling like an idiot. No problem!" Haha. Later that day she said, "So, are you going to be okay? I mean, you were kind of scaring me because you never cry. I just didn't know what to say and everyone else was like... um, maybe we should say something to her!" Maybe it's not funny, but I just can't stop laughing about it!

Okay, moving on.... While all of my check garbage is being recycled some other really GREAT things were brewing! (Just a hint of sarcasm) Um, I have a new manager now. This is the third in a year. And... even better... two of the girls quit! I'm not going to go into details because that's mean, but I will say that I am completely neutral in the situation and this makes me proud of myself!

Also, I lost my wallet! Except I did't really lose it. I thought I did because I hadn't seen it for two days but it was just playing hide and seak under my dresser! I didn't bother calling the bank when I thought it was lost to cancel anything because I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY ANYWAY! I'm sorry thief, the person you took this wallet from is BROKE. Somehow her paycheck bounced, ever heard of such a thing? P.s You're under arrest!!!

Okay, I think that might be all I have to say about my mundane week. :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

pretty earrings

Some days, as of late, I feel like wearing pretty earrings. I haven't worn them in years, not the pretty ones at least. For some reason I thought they meant I was "girly," and if you know me, "girly" is the last thing on Earth I would like to be titled. So... for a very long time, I didn't wear them.

In fact, rather than wearing pretty earrings, I decided that I was going to gauge my ear lobes. Not a lot; just a little, mostly so that I could announce they were gauged and to further avoid wearing pretty earrings... especially when they were given to me as gifts. Along with the gauged lobes I sport five piercings in my left ear, and four in my right, but it really is kind of cute.

For as long as I can remember I have tried my absolute hardest to avoid being a woman. Now, I know that I am a woman and I can't avoid that, but there is a huge difference between being a woman, and being a woman.

Actually, for most of my life I have truly hated the word woman. It has always made me feel uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. The first time it was used involving me was when I was ten and starting to grow up and my mom said, "You are growing into a woman." Maybe some girls are happy about this, but I wasn't. I was really angry at my mom for saying that and I actually cried and said, "But Mom, I don't want to be a woman!" Being a woman to me meant that I had to grow up, and honestly, I hated the idea of growing up too which deepened my hatred even more against the word and to some women.

For those of you who have been around me and know me, or maybe you don't really know me, but have observed me, you could most likely agree that I am not, nor have I ever been, dressy. I do wear make up, but I hate looking pretty. I hate it. I hate it because it gets me noticed, and I don't like the attention. The attention means that I am attractive, and I don't want to be attractive because that equals being a woman. So, I don't often dress up.

Through all my teen years and even into my early adult hood I have wanted nothing more than to be invisible. Yes, invisible. God, on the other hand, has had something else in mind. During the years that I was trying the most to disappear and be nothing He allowed Ben to see me. Me. Me, just as I am. All I wanted was to vanish, and all he wanted was to chase me. I have said, and always will say, that it was only by God's miracle that Ben saw me...

Why, do you ask, am I sharing so much of my broken heart? Honestly, I don't know! I don't know because this NOT something I do. I do not share who I am, and do not like it when I do. But, I feel like God has asked me to, and I have decided to listen to God for a change.....

So, why I am I telling you all of this? Why am I allowing myself to be so vulnerable? Well, it's because something inside of me is changing... God is teaching me that it is okay to be a woman. It is okay to be pretty and attractive and to like being that way. He made me to be a woman.

After Ben asked me to marry him it was almost an instant change in me. Suddenly, I wanted to dress up and be pretty, and I have even joked, "Well, now that I am getting married I feel like I have to be pretty!" or "It's time for me to grow up now, I'm going to be a wife!" Although, I am being silly when I say those things, my heart is so serious! I want to grow up. I want to be a beautiful woman. I want to do anything I possibly can to be a good wife, and I want to tell people!

During, this journey into woman hood God is also teaching me and asking me not to hide Him anymore. "Don't keep me a secret," He says," Don't keep me small," and "Don't be afraid of who you are." So, for the first time in my entire life I can that I am okay with being a woman...

I am okay with dressing up, being noticed, and feeling pretty. It's not always easy, and I'm not always confident, but God is also teaching my that I do NOT have to claim my insecurity. It is only my battle, not my label.

So, the next time you see me please smile and celebrate with me as I have finally decided to grow up. Look out world, there is a beautiful woman coming right at you! You'll know who she is when you see her pretty earrings! : )

Saturday, November 15, 2008

oh what a night

Tonight my sister was over for dinner and, of course, she had her girls with her. Ellie is almost six and Ainsley is nineteen months. They are just the cutest little girls and two of my favorite people! I have a great relationship with both of them.

Anyway, after dinner Ellie stops me in the kitchen with something behind her back and told me to pick a hand. I could see what she had, but acted as if I had no idea. : ) So, I picked a hand and I was wrong so I picked the other and I was wrong again! So, I said "Hey, how did you do that?!" She laughed and said, "I switched hands, silly!!" She finally revealed what she had and it was cookie dough. She smiled, " Me and Papa are going to bake cookies!" Then I said, "Does Papa know about this?" She giggled, "Not yet!" I thought this was really cute. : )

Before they made cookies she just had to have an apron on. "I don't want to get my clothes dirty, you know!" She reminds me so much of myself when I was little. Ainsley, of course, had to have an apron too! And she reminds me of my younger sister! ; )


Off to baking they went! Ellie is so cute while she is making cookies. She is always so focused and they have to be perfect. I'm sure she feels it's as if she was meant to bake!

Yum!


See how focused she is?

While Ellie was perfectly forming the cookies, Ainsley was being cute toddling around. Ellie is the sweetest sister. She always says such nice things to Ainsley, so during this time she said, "Ainsley, you are such a good little helper! You're a cute little chef!" : )

The term "little chef" reminds me of the movie Ratatouille so I chimed, "Oh like Ratatouille! You know, Little Chef?" Ellie paused and then laughed, "Yeah... and she's the rat!" We couldn't help but laugh. Didn't I say she was sweet?

While the cookies were baking we laughed and played and Ellie set up a little tea set so we could all have "tea" when the cookies were ready. They were great!

Mmm!

Ainsley decided she would join us on the couch while we watched t.v. She loves Ben. It's really cute. So, since I was planning on blogging about the night I asked my sister to take a picture of us, but she just couldn't figure out my camera!


So funny!

Have I mentioned Ellie is hilarious? She decided it would be a good idea to do this after she ate her cookies:






Um, yes, those are my underwear thank you very much! (Am I allowed to show you my undies? Oh well!)

Anyway, I think it is very safe to say that there is never ever a dull moment with my girls around!!! : )

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

fun with friend

I hung out with my great friend, Kimmie, tonight! We have been friends since we were in Junior High, but very rarely have we ever hung out. I guess life has just snuck up on us and somehow we lost track of time and managed to not spend any together.

Anyway, despite the lack of hang out time, Kimmie and are great buddies! We have really been through so much together and I know I can always count on her being there for me. When we were in Junior High she was the only Christian influence I had in my life and I remember that I always admired her and wanted to be just like her! Back then I would have never guessed that she would morph into a life long friend. It's silly how things just happen like that. :)

Tonight we decided that it would be fun to go to dinner. We went to the Thai Carrot. Anyone ever go there? I've only eaten there a few times and the first time I didn't know there was such a thing as a picture menu. (To all the first timers I recommend looking at the picture menu!) I couldn't recognize half of anything they were trying to offer so I just settled for some steamed vegetables and rice mostly because I knew those words. Lol. Tonight I just got rice with peanut sauce and much to my disappointment there was something in the peanut sauce that made it a little spicy. Don't get me wrong, I love me some spice but unfortunately I am so allergic to peppers and anything that has to do with them! Apparently what makes the sauce spicy is chili pepper and I'm assuming that it is made out of some sort of pepper. I'm really not sure if I have an allergy to that, but I wasn't about to take my chances! So I ended up just eating some good old plain rice, along with my allergy medicine. Mmm. ; )

The best part about my dinner with the hilarious spoon I was given with my rice! It was huge, and probably considered a shovel! Here are some good pictures of me being obnoxious about it!

Look at that thing!

It didn't even fit in my mouth.

Well, I guess if I can't eat with it I can always use it as an eye patch!

And here is the lovely Kimmie eating her chicken won tons. She is much nicer at the table than I am! Lol.

See? Isn't she cute?!

After dinner we just had to get Starbucks! I've decided that there is always room for Starbucks. Tonight I was feeling like a big brave dog and I tried something new! Ta da! (You have to understand that I don't do well with "new") I tried the salted caramel hot chocolate and it was delicious! I highly recommend it! I'm not sure what Kim drank. While she was ordering I tried to use the restroom, but the womens was being occupied so I just decided I would sneak into the mens, except when I ripped open the door one of the employees was so kindly changing the paper towels! I guess I wasn't so sneaky! And then after being caught red handed, I realized the womens really wasn't being occupied; I was just pulling on the door wrong! Oh well, it gave me a good laugh!

And then.... We spent the rest of our fun evening at The Yarn Corner. It was knit night, and I had never actually gone before. Kim is really into knitting right now and she is doing so great! I'm impressed. I've known how to knit for quite awhile now, but I don't knit very much and I only know the basics. Maybe one day I'll be a pro!

Look at us! We're so cute! : )

It was really great to hang out with my friend tonight! I so appreciate her and her friendship. We have got do this more!

Farewell!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

movie night

Lately Ben and I have had the opportunity to get to know Cole a little bit more. The three of us were all on the Mexico team and although I have always known Cole I didn't really know him. So while we were in Mexico it was really fun to hang out with him a little more and I decided that I really like this guy!

Here we are looking ultra cool in Mexico.

Ever since Mexico we have been talking about how we needed to hang out, but we never really got around to it until Friday night. When Ben and I learned that Cole had never watched Dumb and Dumber we were shocked! This movie has been a staple in our entertainment world. We can quote the entire movie like nobody's business!!

So... We finally hung out and Ben made some chips and dip. (Actually just the dip.) And I made fried Cheerios. (Thank you Rhianna for the intro all those years ago!) We had a lot of fun!

Also, that night we looked at my Mexico pictures and while we were doing so I remembered that I had something to show Cole! Would you like to see? Well, before I show you I need to give you a little background. See, Cole thought I was just taking a picture of him being silly but really I was recording him and I didn't say anything about it! And I never told him that I recorded him until the other night. It's pretty funny. :)



You like? I do! I think it's silly! :) It's even better if you watch it as a loop!

That's all folks!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

???

So, tonight while I was talking to Ben I found evidence that my niece had been playing with chalk today. There was a jumbo size piece of white chalk laying next to the cutting board, just waiting for someone to pick it up so without thinking twice I grabbed it, and this is what happened:



I am so obnoxious sometimes and I often have to ask myself why do I do the things I do? I must have thought it was important for some reason. Lol.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

favorite day

Now that I'm over the anxiety of the first post I can start telling you fun things! Today I want to tell you all about the day I call my favorite! (And probably the happiest, silliest, and the most giggly)

My birthday was on a Sunday this year and it just so happens that Ben and I have Sundays off. At the time, Sundays were the only days we had off together so we have always looked forward to them and spending time with each other. This day was no exception! We were planning on going to the beach and having a great day enjoying each others company! : )
(The beach was supposed to be a surprise, but I figured it out.)


On my birthday the weather was just terrible! It was the middle of August and the rain could not have fallen harder. After church that day we were on our way back to my house and I could tell that James was feeling nervous about the weather so I asked him if he still wanted to go. (James is Ben's middle name and I love to call him by it!) I was okay with doing something else, but he really had his heart set on going to the beach! We even prayed that weather would clear up so we could have a good time, but we love the beach all the time so it didn't take long for us to agree that no matter what the weather was like we were still going to have fun.

Although I had figured out that we were going to the beach he didn't tell me where we were going, and he said I couldn't have any hints because he didn't want me to figure it out. (I am really good at guessing these kinds of things lol)

When we got out to the beach the weather was just amazing! It was seventy two, hardly any wind, and no clouds! God was definitely listening when we asked for good weather! : ) It was beautiful.

Ben had decided to take me to our favorite place. I don't know why I didn't think of it! There is a little history that I must share with you about our favorite place, but that is a great story in itself that I will save for another post!

It was a great surprise to spend the day on our favorite beach. Before we got out of the car he told me the reason for bringing me to this special place was because he has great memories of us spending time together there and he thought that it was only perfect if we enjoyed this beach on my birthday. (Isn't he cute?)

We decided to take a long walk and eventually found ourselves sitting on the rocks enjoying the ocean. The whole day, but during these moments especially, I couldn't help but think about how much I love him and how important he is to me. I was feeling so happy. :)

After enjoying the view it was time to take the long beautiful walk back towards our car. We then decided to have a cute little picnic and sit on the great piece of drift wood that we had staked out as "ours." It's always so fun to figure out how to have a picnic at the beach without eating sand, but I think we did well!

Our picnic was dying down, everything was cleaned up, and just when I thought my day could not be any better, My James, tells me he has one last surprise! I think I was crying before I even knew what was happening! He struggled for a moment before getting the ring out of his pocket, and when he finally did he knelt down on one knee. He hadn't planned anything to say, and suddenly I could see how incredibly nervous he was. After what felt like minutes, but were only a few seconds later his eyes began to water, and then after another pause followed by a big gulp came the words I have been longing to hear for years,"Brittany... Will you be my wife?" And through laughter and tears, of course, I said "Yes, I will"

I cannot even tell you how extremely happy I was! We both were! Our hands were shaking when he put the ring on my finger. It was so silly! And I just could stop giggling or smiling! It was so perfect. :) And my ring is just so pretty!! He picked it out all by himself and he even chose the diamond for me. :) I'm so proud or him and I absolutely love it!

After I said yes, we spent only a few more moments at the beach before the sun decided he was tired of playing outside and then his cloudy friends came rolling in. The great weather lasted just long enough for us to enjoy each other, laugh together, and for me to decide that this day,the day My Love asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, was definitely my Favorite Day. :)







Thursday, October 30, 2008

so serious. (except not)

I have been talking for a couple of months now about starting a blog and every time I've tried to make my first post I have just suddenly felt like it was so serious! Like this is the first post of the rest of my life and I have to make it a good one! I started thinking about how I really need to write about something important because this is number one and it will "pave the way" like it is some monumental moment!

I do this, also, with my journals. I will sit with the pen in my hand for about twenty minutes just thinking about what is good enough to be on page one. I don't know why I ever thought this made sense, but I have even tried just skipping the first couple pages. And can I just tell you that it's still the first page no matter where you start! So I feel like every time I'm starting something new it is so serious! But once I get past the fear of the first page everything is fine and dandy so, why can't I just start writing like it's page two?

I'm still, and always will be, convinced that the first post or page is so serious, but some how I manage to turn it into something so silly! (And stressful and obsessive and ridiculous!!!) In the end I'm just really happy that it's done and over with and I can move on with my life. Lol. I think I take this way too seriously, but you know, it's SO important!! The End.